Posted by: rusch | July 9, 2005

From the Archives

Over the past couple of years I have written some pieces that I did not publish on the net simply because they did not fit the general theme of what I was writing at the time. They have to do with dating, attraction, and relationships. By and large they are downers, but many have said that I have hit the nail on the head with these and that I just have to post them here. But before I do I would like to make an observation.

I think that many, myself included, live a kind of double standard in the way we keep our convictions, the way we balance the sacred and the profane.

On the one hand, the things of sanctity encourage individuals to rise above the world around them, to separate themselves from the debauchery, depravity, and from mores that do not bring out the best in individuals and communities. The Hebrew terms kadosh and segulah convey the meaning that holy people are to be first, set apart (Kadosh), and then becoming a cherished unique treasure (segulah).

A person being segulah, is granted that status through being kadosh.

This idea is set forth throughout the Old and New Testaments, along with many other world religious works, that there is really no need to site them here. To some degree or another, most world religions have a way that they see the sacred and the profane, and the need to separate themselves from those things contained within their belief system that are considered evil.

Being a Latter-Day Saint, I have been taught this idea of being separate for many years. I have been taught that by setting yourself apart from certain things an individual there would be great blessings that would come into ones life. As many individuals came to do the same things, it would change society. Hearing these principles as a teenager made my heart burn. We could change the world.

But, unfortunately we often are not willing to totally leave the profane behind, and seek immediate pleasure instead of lasting happiness. Proverbally, one foot is in Babylon and another foot is in heaven. There are a few areas that I can think of off hand where I am straddling that line of seeking after the joy comes to the faithful, and the pleasure that comes from being in the world. In the end I know that I will be happier once the decision is made and acted upon to be in the camp of the faithful, and to metaphorically flea Sodom and not look back.

In retrospect there are some things that I have observed with regards to dating that have had a profound impact and I hope that is shown in the essays that will follow.

Dating is a game. More specifically, it is a mating dance that has many nuances and subtleties that are not apparent to the casual observer. It can be a cruel game of high stakes poker where only a minute fraction of the players come away from the table with their chips, having gotten what they really wanted and not having to settle for what is around and available.

So here is the first installment: Cameros Cold Oatmeal and the Guy next door.

Cameros, Cold Oatmeal, and the Guy Next Door.

I am at a crossroads in my life, and feel like I am looking down the barrel of a gun in many respects. Next year around this time I will be preparing to graduate from college and will be moving on from being a student to being an adult in the work-aday world. I am not afraid of work. I am afraid of leaving college and not being married.

I have never been very good with women. And they have never been overly interested in me. I have tried for the past two years to initiate things with women, and nothing has come of it. I have gone on dates, gone to dances, gone to activities, and like the fisherman who is having a bad day, my nets have come up empty. This has caused me to reflect on my state, and to ask myself,” What the hell is my problem.”

It is not my hygiene. I shower and brush teeth daily and use deodorant; I wear clean clothing; I am free of fatally infectious diseases; I have all of my teeth, fingers, eyes, and toes; and finally I change my underwear daily avoid using profanity in the presence of women and children. What is the problem? I don’t understand.

They tell you that LDS women are seeking a man who has a testimony and keeps the commandments. It is what is said, but is far from what is reality. Women don’t want the Peter Priesthoods, they are more interested in finding and reforming their Dick Danger, or finding their Exotic Earl from a foreign country. Average white bread Mormon guys just don’t have a chance in today’s market. The reliability of the Camry is passed up for models that require a much more substantial investment. In short, the ideal guy in the gospel sense is just as desirable as cold oatmeal. It will provide nourishment but will not excite the palette or any of the other senses. No one raves about the cold oatmeal they just ate.

The scriptures, in reference to the last days, speak of the daughters of Zion and their worldly ways, and how they will be cursed because of them. What is not mentioned is the large number of guys who will remain single while the women go-a-whoring.

It is sad. There are plenty of guys who would treat many of these women like gold. They would be their peculiar treasure, their equal, and the love of their life. But these women, Latter-Day-Saint women are passing up these good men for the standard that the world holds up as the ideal guy. He’s good looking and he’s rich. He wears the right clothes; has the right car; is in the right major or has the right job; and is more importantly wild. He will take them to dens of iniquity known as night-clubs and fine restaurants; enjoys passionately kissing and premarital physical expressions of love that are so important to these women, and has of all things been on a mission. Not just any mission, but to someplace other then the united states of America or Canada.

Yes, weep. Weep for the daughters of Zion and their vain and false expectations. And weep they will when ten years and three years kids these same men that they have sought after no longer find them attractive, and will no longer engage in physically intimate acts. Yes they will weep when the excitement has gone out of the marriage and the girl has come to realize that her ’86 Camaro is breaking down, when the Camry would still be going strong, still just as reliable and enjoyable to drive as it was the first time you took it out for a spin.

Oh the sadness that they will reap, because of the seeds they have sown. If they had only been more sensible and not had their heads in the clouds, their state would be a happy one, and one of these single guys next door would be married.


  1. Interesting buddy. I don’t think I know you but I like you’re writing style. I consider myself a Z300. Nice, relatively expensive, and dangerous if you chose to make it that way. There is nothing wrong with sports cars. Maybe you just need a body kit? Those things work wonders you know. Then, later, you can take it off and go back to your stock fittings and all parties will be happy. Camry’s are cool too man.–>

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