Posted by: rusch | November 17, 2004

Death of Dating

It is official. I was just informed that Dating passed away last night in her home outside of Provo. “Dating” is survived by her children “Hanging Out” and “Hooking Up”. Since ’97 “Dating’s” health was in decline and had turned the day to day operations of providing interaction between the single sexes to her children. Meanwhile “Dating” went into semi-retirement.

It was hoped that “Dating’s” health would improve during a much needed sabatical, but it was clear to all associated with “Dating” that she was in decline and despite many “creative” attempts, it was only a matter of time. In late 2000 it was clear that “Dating” was improving, but shortly the decline in health continued.

Finally by 2002, “Dating” went into full retirement leaving the corperation to her children. After two years of being in and out of the hospital and assisted living homes “Dating” slipped into a coma and it was clear that she would not recover. After a week both “Hanging out” and her brother “Hooking up” jointly decided to take their mother off of life support Tuesday morning. She would pass away later that night in her Provo home.

“Hanging out” had this to say,” Our mother has made so many happy over the years, it is regretfull that she will not be around to affect lives of generations to come.”

“Dating’s” ex-husband “Breaking Up” could not be reached for comment.


Responses

  1. Awesomest. Post. Ever.

    You deserve the best post ever written in history award! Hey, can you make it look like an actual newspaper clipping? That would be way too cool!

  2. Just curious if the death was a result of natural causes? Are the authorities going to be performing an autopsy?


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